All These Things I Hate
by darth spots and darth stripes
Summary: She's the epitome of perfection. Whats wrong with that? She wants to escape. [LJ oneshot]


**All these things I hate **

_Once more I'll say goodbye to you  
Things happen, but we don't really know why  
If it's supposed to be like this  
Why do most of us ignore the chance to miss?  
Oh yeah_

Torn apart at the seams and my dreams turn to tears  
I'm not feeling this situation  
Run away try to find that safe place you can hide  
The best place to be when you're feeling like

Me! Me! Yeah! Yeah  
All these things I hate revolve around  
Me! Me! Yeah! Yeah  
Just back off before I snap

Once more you tell those lies to me  
Why can't you just be straight up with honesty?  
When you say those things in my ear  
Why do you always tell me what you wanna hear?  
Oh yeah, yeah!

Wear your heart on your sleeve, make things hard to believe  
I'm not feeling this situation  
Run away try to find that safe place you can hide  
It's the best place to be when you're feeling like

Me! Me! Yeah! Yeah!  
All these things I hate revolve around  
Me! Me! Yeah! Yeah!  
Just back off before I snap and you'll  
See! Me! Me! Me!  
All these things I hate revolve around  
Me! Me! Yeah! Yeah!  
Just back off before I snap

Torn apart at the seams and my dreams turn to tears  
I'm not feeling this situation  
Run away try to find that safe place you can hide  
It's the best place to be when you're feeling like me  
it's the best place to be when you're!

Me! Me! Yeah! Yeah!  
All these things I hate revolve around  
Me! Me! Yeah! Yeah!  
Just back off before I snap and you'll  
See! Me! Me! Me!  
All these things I hate revolve around  
Me! Me! Yeah! Yeah!  
Just back off before I snap 

_-Bullet for my valentine _

She lay by the pool, watching the midnight sky above her. The world was quiet here, on her ledge above the waterfall. No-one ever came here anymore; no-one even knew it existed. The waterfall was far into the forest, so far that that no-one would hear her when she screamed. She screamed her sorrows, her worries, her life away, being drenched by the curtain of water that fell wildly into the waist deep pool. Afterwards, always afterwards, she would lie on her ledge and stare at the stars. On this occasion, tears leaked out of the corners of her eyes, and dripped onto the cold rock below her. The waterfall wouldn't pressure her, tell her what to do or try to control her 'perfect' life. It didn't think anything of her, a small spark of a life in comparison with the ancient beauty that surrounded her. That always helped, thinking about everything bigger than herself, it brought her back down from the hated pedestal that her peers put her on everyday. The biting chill and callous surface of the ledge dredged up the painful thoughts and feelings that she suppressed. Her waterfall was her escape, the one place she could release them. The pressure to always look her best; she could look however she wanted to here. The pressure to eat 'healthily' aka, barely anything; she could eat whatever she wanted to here, she would pay for it later, but she did it anyway. Her own little bit of rebellion against the lifestyle that her mother thrust upon her. The clothes that she had been forced to wear on her first train ride to Hogwarts, the Louis Vuitton handbag that she had been given especially for the ride. 'To make a good impression on your future friends' she had said. Her 'friends', the people who she sat with at meals, in classes and shared a dormitory with. Yes, 'best friends'. So cliquey, no one else would dare try to interrupt them, they would all make room in the corridors, so that none of the 'it girls' would have to brush up against anyone else. They are the school's royalty. And Lily, its very own queen bee. She would give anything to run away, to escape it all. But think what they would say, her so called 'friends', her mother and 'society'. Lily just wanted to get away from it all, to not have to maintain the walls that surrounded her all day long. So she came here, to the waterfall. It was her sanctuary, her escape. She could let down her walls, let out all her pain. The pain that came with not having a choice in anything, not her clothes, her food or even what she did with her life. She would grow up to become a valued member of society, she would marry the one her mother chose for her and she would be happy. It was amazingly simple, everything a girl could want in life. Endless money, time and a husband. But there would be no real love. Her mother wouldn't be silly enough to pick a man that lily would actually fall in love with, no, that would be ridiculous! How, Lily would never understand. She wished that she could be more normal. She envied the marauders their carefree nature and lives. James and Sirius would never be put through what she was, they were strong willed and were in complete control of their own lives. Remus and Peter too. What she would give just to spend a day like that. There was one other at Hogwarts. One person who had the same idea as she did. Every night, they would come out of the castle and go into the forbidden forest, just like Lily did. She could hear him scream with her. She had no idea who it was, from the outside, no-one else at Hogwarts looked as if they needed that kind of release. But of course, you wouldn't see it from the outside. Looking at Lily, you would see perfection. Perfect features, perfect hair, perfect skin, perfect friends, perfect life. Her smile, reserved for her 'friends' and on occasion for the boy taking her out, masked her true feelings. Her walls protected her from harsh comments and bitchy rumors spread about her, more often than not by her 'friends'. Designed shrewdly, by the best, to knock her off her pedestal, the rumors were blistering. But Lily kept her feet. She kept her poise and her smile and rode out the rumor. This resilience lead her to her 'Queen Bee' title and has kept her there since fourth year. Now, in seventh year, the rumors and overheard snide comments didn't touch her. Well, it didn't touch her on the outside. Inside, she was crumbling, slowly but surely, she was falling apart from the inside out. All the lies whispered into her ear, the false friendships and the pressure took their toll.

She rolled over onto her stomach to stare into the water and got the shock of her life when she found a face reflected back at her. Not her own mind you, James Potter's.

"Why are you here." Lily asked angrily, turning her face, so he wouldn't see what a wreck she was.

"I heard you screaming." He stated simply.

"How could you have? You can't hea- Oh. Its _you_." Lily turned to face him when the realization hit her. "James Potter, what could you possibly have in your life that you need to scream about." She asked, partly rhetorically, because she knew his life, and envied him for it. There wasn't anything there to cause pain.

"Me? My parents just died. They left their entire fortune to me. The house, the money, the assets, all of it. And now I am expected to pick up where my father left off. Take his place in society. Throw my dreams away and pick up his. Hah, why am I telling you this? I don't know you. Lily Evans, Queen Bee and the image of perfection. But you need a release too. From what, I wonder?" He asked, pinning me to the wall with his piercing stare.

"Why should I trust you?" She replied.

"I know_ I_ need someone to talk to. Sirius isn't cutting it right now; he has his own family problems to worry about. He just got burned off his family tree for running away. Anyway, I'm assuming that you're in the same situation. When I decided to find the person I was screaming with every night, I never suspected you. What are you running away from Lily Evans?" He asked, again accompanied by his intense stare.

"I –I don't know. No, I do know. I just don't know if I want to tell you." She paused to get up off her rock ledge and dove into the water to come up just in front of James.

"You can trust me, I wont tell. I know how rumors like to spread and then kick you in the bum." He said with a small smile. Lily took a deep breath in before beginning.

"This will take a while. Are you sure you want me to tell you this?" She asked.

"Sure as sure." He sad with a gentle smile, patting the ground next to him, gesturing that she should come and sit next to him. She took him up on his offer and the sat side by side watching the waterfall. Her newly found confidant just sat there, giving her time to collect her thoughts and gather the courage to begin.

"Everything in my life has always been controlled. Everything, even my dreams of becoming a healer have been torn away from me. If it doesn't have anything to do with climbing the social ladder, then its unimportant. That's the way my mother sees things. Everything I hate about my life, I could have changed, I could have stood up to her, I could have made my own way in life. And tonight, I came to a realization. All these things I hate revolve around me."

**A/N: Yay! Its finished :D So I hope you all liked it. It's a bit random, and I don't especially like it, but yeah, you get that. Please review for me my lovelies! Harriet **


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